you know...
i thought i had found her..
my inspiration../the elusive spirit that owuld put an end to my miseries i tho upon myself. someone who would help me sort out who i am.....

but guess what..no such thing...
shes hardly even aware of my existence...
and why should she be anyway..who am i really..a nothing..a non existent person as far as she is concerned.

i need to gain my self respect back...its been years now...when will i reegain the reins......
ive ben reeling around like a loose spirit for years now..i need to figure it all out and get down to my life again...
i need t understand who i really am...

i need to find me