I miss her.

And im happy ... practically smiling ....


thers gotta be soemthign wrong with that ............


and when u sit to think about it u get the answer even beore u got a hcance to sit down ... its simple ... im just glad i have someone to miss ... its the hwole 'its better to have loved and lsot than to have never loved at all' argument but in a slightly differnet perspective.....

its good .. powerfull .. to feel that you can think about more than jsut yourself .. that someone elses happiness sometimes matters more than yours .. this being a circle ... when shes happy im happy .. hence to make myself happy i make her happy ..... nice ... :)

but then .. when we do things for 'these' reasons we dont really think about all that .. its jsut obvious to us ..the answer .... you gotta do what you gotta do ...

ill drift off about soemthing else now so i think tis time to call it quits .. the ink is still dry and im awaiting the oppertunity to pen somehting of value ...... kudos

The voices are gone.

A madman feels sanest when he hears them ringing in his head.. their echoes drown the beat of the real world .. their emotions run deeper than the deepest cut.
Take his disease away from him .. and he is lost. He is himself no more.

We get used to the chaos we live in .. the fear of tomorrow and the anticipation of the same. The fun of today and the torment thats gone by. Insanity is my requiem.

The root of this could be our inspiration. Without it .. a man is nothing. He cannot talk or think the same. When ur drive is gone you feel liek your very existence is a cheat. Whether it be your dreams of utopia or the haze of a dream you very nearly had .... its this passion thats kept us going .. and without it ... we are truly lost ....without it .. i am nothing .......................................

maybe the madman appears like a fool ... maybe he appears like a weakling .. maybe someone worships him and maybe someone even sheds a tear for him ...
but to himself he cares not what you think .. for his reward lies only in his creation ... in his inspiration .. his recurrent effort to proove true the love he was for you ... his inspiration ... seek him out while you can for you will never get a truer friend ... a more loyal friend ...

let him drown his emotions and hte madman is nothing ... he is a man witbhout a soul .. a nemesis worse than a ghost ..

i have this urge ... this need to be high .....
to loose myself ... to fly .. to dream to sink to swim

to let go and gain control after i regain my senses .....

why do we want to be high .. i dont about you ... but i think one of my reasons is because of the detachment ... when we loose control of ourselves .. our restraints ... our .. taught and learn't nature .... we become who we really are .... i loose all sensation except the truth seeping inside myself .... the real me ............

im floating in a dream ..i can be high on water if my mind wants to .. i can go high on floyd .. i can be high on emotions ... i can be high on alcohol (rather .. rarely 'used to be')

i can looose my inhibitions .... just feel and forget the emotions the go through me ...
i write best when im in a state like this .. maybe because at that moment of time nothing is true except for what i am and who i am ... i can feel the real me calling out to break the chains of reality and accept the truth ..... to be I and not ME .....

the me i am not the me ive learnt be ............

How much does a smile cost .......................
nothing to give .. but a fortune to receive ....


Why ....

because a true smile is the rawest of emotions .. the deepest of connections ... the truest of feelings ... the best of memories ....


It can toucha chord in your heart that sets the melody ringing ...
its the single candle that shows you the light to your path ..
the strength to finish what you have to ....
it is ... the best thing that can happen between two people ....

I still feel numbed and hollowed. Not even a tear drop or the need to portray myself as someone strong. The clouds seem to be hovering lightly right over my head, not settling not moving away. They just stay in constant motion around me.
I feel ur loss, the tears almost come but they dry up before i can let them go. You left us so suddenly and maybe for the best. I believe for the best, but just thinking i might never see you again. Never hear ur voice calling out to me, pulling my leg, scolding me, poking fun at everything, playing badminton, eating out and cursing the ccd folk for horrible service.
Meeting u after so many months, laughin playing and meeting someone new.
Calling u everytime i felt ur need, wanting to rush over to you at the slightest.............................i jsut cant stop thinkin about you ..... i loved you .. i love you and i always will ....

Romance is such an endearing notion. The belief that an idea, a person, a thought, a moment can mean so much to a person sounds preposterous at times but it is a part of being a romantic. I’ve known for ages that im a romantic but I don’t think id be able to describe what romance is or who a romantic is if youd have asked me.
I’d like to think about it now.

Maybe romance is a notion of obsession. To be obsessed with something till your heart cannot push it out. To feel the thing throb with every beat of your heart. Maybe romance is the notion of a utopian dream. Maybe it’s the belief in things at their best or better.

Maybe it’s a dream we all would love to dream but only those who are do.

But most of all, I believe, romance is the concept of beauty.
To believe in it. To want it. To appreciate it. To desire it and to cherish it.

Maybe romance is also the desire to be in love, always.
To feel it, even if we cant have it.

A loner isn’t always sad. A sad man isn’t always a loner.
One who has everything need not have nothing.

the change is here.

Ankit Lal is back, aruls changed.

The missing ingredient really is what i always thought it was.... inspiration

Now i no longer to look back and wonder where i had really started loosing it or where the return started.... all i wanna remember is ..... theres always a return,,, you just have to hang on long enough and then its worth it :)