Another night, another demise,
Cadaverous wind blowing cold as ice.
I`ll let the wind blow out the light,
'Cuz it gets more painful Every Time I die.

Out of strength to fight,
I cannot take another night.
I cannot take it no more,
Lust of light slips through my fingers.
Like blood drips off my arms,
Black candle wax has buried me.
Children of Bodom - Everytime I Die

A few days ago I had written some thing in my copy...something about being betrayed. again and again.....not what I’ve written down here...much, much more than this........there I had written down one line...

A line which I regret having ever written.

Will I ever trust again?
Yes.

Can I be more fucked up than this....No Way.....? My trust has been betrayed too often now..... I can’t take it no more... I’m no byway that you can just trample on... Say sorry (or not) and move on..........I won’t trust again. I wont love again...I wont feel those feelings again.....better to die. Than be betrayed again...will not take the risk of trusting anyone again...

will this mean that my friendship will be hollow from now? A hollow promise...like the ones I've always gotten..........

maybe so...maybe...or else. I might not even give that fake promise even..........

Trust is the thing that I held at the top of y list...along with respect. And loyalty......if these don’t exist...the relation doesn’t expect.

I want to forget how to trust...how to expect...how to expect people to be...nice....how to expect people to be kind...how to expect people to understand...

They’re all fuckin liars.....all of them

YOU…??

Yes you.....even 'you'...I don’t even trust you...ya, you too angel, even you...whoever you may be....I cant even trust myself now...what might I put myself through next...another torture.........

These last few months have been eye openers.........I have learnt...........that only a fool is foolish enough to trust everyone around him...I was such a fool...no more...!!